How long does it take to create a habit?

For someone like me, who's born at the end of the XX century, the 60s inevitably feel like the decade that changed the course of history from a cultural perspective and crafted who we are today. Cinema, music, civil rights, new wars, presidents assassinated in front of thousands of citizens: the 60s have it all.

In this magical decade, mankind starts experimenting with the mind, a new generation of men and women delve deeper into the mysteries of human consciousness, often helped by a few new substances that started circulating in Harvard and Stanford. Not far from there, another (more silent) revolution takes place, and Positive Psychology shifts the focus from past traumas and subconscious desires to the inherent strength and willpower of individuals, placing human agency and potential at the forefront of psychological inquiry and self-improvement efforts.

Picture this: it’s 1960, and you’re flipping through the pages of one of the first self- help bestsellers, “Psycho- Cybernetics” by Dr. Maxwell Maltz. You reach the chapter on building positive habits, and a bold statement jumps out: “It takes 21 days to form a habit!”

Fast forward to today. We’ve all tried (and maybe failed) to implement countless 21-day habits. From learning a language to morning jogs, the outcomes haven’t quite stuck. This leaves us wondering, where did this 21-day rule even come from?
Well, the truth is that Dr. Maltz, a well- respected plastic surgeon, noticed something curious in his patients. After surgery, it took them about 21 days to adjust to the perception of their new bodies. Perhaps inspired by this observation, Dr. Maltz included the 21-day concept in his book. Over time, this 3-week window became a catchy and misleading habit- formation mantra, and today, the only lesson that we can extrapolate from Psycho- Cybernetics, is that plastic surgeons know fuck all about habit formation.

Here's the real deal: researchers have delved into the genesis of habit formation, and it turns out our brains are like tiny gyms. Building a habit requires consistent effort, not just a quick 30-day challenge like we’re used nowadays. Studies like the one at University College London (UCL) found it took people anywhere from 18 to a whopping 254 days to form a new habit. That's a wide range, right? 

Several factors can influence how long it takes for a new behaviour to become automatic:

• Difficulty: Think of habits like fitting a new piece of furniture into your home. A small side table might slide right in, but a bulky antique wardrobe takes more planning and effort. Similarly, some habits, like flossing, are easier to squeeze into your routine. Others, like learning a new language, require a bigger commitment. The more complex or disruptive the habit, like a demanding exercise routine every day, the longer it generally takes to become automatic. That's why aiming for a military-style workout routine, seven days a week, might be a tough habit to start with if you're new to fitness.

• Current Routine: Does your new habit mesh well with your existing schedule? Trying to squeeze in a morning jog before work might take longer to solidify than incorporating a post-dinner meditation session if you already have downtime in the evening.

• Individual Motivation: This is where things get interesting. How badly do you WANT this habit? The stronger your internal motivation, the fuel that comes from within you, the faster you'll likely see results. Think about it - are you hitting the gym because your friend dragged you there (external motivation), or because you're truly invested in getting stronger and healthier (internal motivation)? Internal motivators like a desire for increased energy, better sleep, or a personal fitness goal tend to be more sustainable in the long run.

• Reward System: Our brains are wired for reward, and that's where habit formation gets fascinating. When we engage in a new behaviour, our brain releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and motivation. This dopamine rush reinforces the behaviour, making us more likely to repeat it. Think of it like a pat on the back from your brain!

What fascinates me is that many activities we engage in daily trigger dopamine release, including that social media notification- and that’s exactly the reason why these machines are so bloody addictive. The problem? These external rewards can be fleeting and don't necessarily align with long-term goals. Think about it: does scrolling through videos of Indian dudes building swimming pools in the forest for 4 hours contribute to your long-term goal of getting that promotion or finishing the project that you're working on?

The key to building lasting habits is to hack this dopamine reward system and connect it to your new behaviour. Here's how:

• Identify a natural reward: Maybe that post-workout endorphin rush or the satisfaction of completing a task can be your intrinsic reward.

• Pair the reward with your habit: Did you finish your morning meditation session? Treat yourself to a healthy breakfast you love. This reinforces the positive association with the new behaviour.

• Celebrate small wins: Don't wait for the big milestones. Be your first supporter, acknowledge and celebrate even small steps towards your goal. This keeps you motivated and releases a burst of dopamine, further strengthening the habit loop. It comes without saying that, if your goal is to lose weight and you just made it to the gym for the first time in months, eating a tub of Pringles might not be the best way to celebrate.

On top of that, research suggests there are different stages to habit formation, almost like a video game with levels to unlock. This isn't a one-shot deal; it's a journey with distinct phases. 

First comes the cue, the trigger that prompts the new behaviour. 

Now, when it comes to trigger the new behaviour, you have two options, you can either change your environment, for example wearing workout gear straight after work so that you’re more willing to move your ass and train. The second option  is to incorporate a new habit to an existent one. Let me give you some context.

I spent the last six months of my Italian life living in Cinque Terre: a rugged clutch of technicolour villages clinging to the cliffs, where the sea breeze carries the scent of sun-warmed rock, drying nets, and the lingering ghost of anchovies. Swimming every day for a couple of kilometres literally saved my life. There was no gym in that tiny village, and back pain kept me away from weights. I promised to myself to swim every morning before work, so I brilliantly decided to put my swimsuit right next to the alarm clock. Figured I'd just roll out of bed, see the goggles, and head straight to the beach. Spoiler alert, that didn't exactly work, especially after late nights spent enjoying amazing vino. If I wanted to get myself into the water, I had to change strategy. Time for Plan B. What's the one thing every Italian practically worships in the morning? Correct, espresso! So I made a deal with myself: "Coffee only happens if you're already at the beach, ready to swim." Would I have given up my coffee? Absolutely not!

Next is the craving, the desire to follow through on the cue. This can be the toughest stage, especially if the habit is new or challenging.

Then comes the response, the actual act of performing the new behaviour. Did you lace up your shoes and head out for a run, or did you get distracted by social media? 

Finally, there's the reward, the positive reinforcement that strengthens the association between the cue, response, and a desired outcome. Maybe it's the feeling of accomplishment after a workout, or the sense of calm after meditation.

The more you effectively navigate these stages, the faster a new behaviour becomes automatic. Think about habit formation as a marathon, not a sprint. You need strategy and dedication, but showing consistency you can build habits that stick and truly transform your life. Ready to get started? Drop me a message and share your biggest habit- building challenge!